28 weeks 6 days: feeling like a failure

I know that this is more depression and hormones than anything else, but I cant help but feel like i'm getting everything wrong this pregnancy. This poor baby deserves a happy and healthy environment to grow ready to come into the world, and instead i'm throwing one complication after another.

First I feel depressed and anxious for the first vital weeks. Then I get the subchorionic hemorage and risk losing her. Then my blood pressure goes funny. Then I pump her full of codine because of my hip. Then we find out that I didnt even grow her properly! And now the bloody diabetes! I cant get anything right.

What am I doing wrong?! I eat healthy! I dont gorge on sugar! I'm relatively fit, although I admit I havent been able to do much thanks to all the rest thats been needed. I take my vitamins, I cut out caffine, I do everything they ask, so why cant I just catch a break?!

Like I said, obviously i'm still depressed. But I just want to do something right for a change.

28 weeks 5 days: gestational diabetes

I saw Doctor Hingston again today in the high risk clinic, and got my blood results back. Good news: my iron levels are fine, so the tiredness is just normal pregnancy tiredness. Bad news: I apparently have gestational diabetes.
She explained that the fasting test should be above 5.0. Mine is 5.1. So I just missed out on being normal. Apparently the ratio has changed in the last six months so until then I would have been considered normal.
I have to see the diabetic clinic at the Mersey on Wednesday to organise my finger prick machine, and at this stage I really shouldn't have to change anything because its so close to being ok. I'll just have to check my sugar levels 4 times a day and keep an eye on them.
It also means even more follow up on the rest of the pregnancy. I feel like I should move in to the hospital at this point!
She also took a urine sample to check for infection, hopefully that will explain the strange pains before I need to pee.

28 weeks 2 days: kicks making me sick

This little coco bean of ours has very strong legs. Last night in bed she was kicking and moving like crazy, to the point where I actually thought I was going to be sick. Thats how much she was churning things up in there.

28 weeks 0 days: Hello 3rd trimester!

The third and final trimester, the home stretch! Woohoo! Gee, that last one was an adventure, and seemed really quite long and yet at other times the weeks flew by.

So how am I feeling? Well I woke up today feeling pretty huge and uncomfortable! My belly feels really tight and crampy and my back is aching like crazy, but I think that's more from a bad night sleep than anything else. Sophie has croup and a throat infection (yep, again) so I was listening to her cough and whimper all night long. But i'll take it easy on the couch today just to be safe.

We are just about ready for this bub's arrival now. The nursery is 95% done, her bag is packed for the hospital and soph is getting more and more excited about her new sister. She give my belly huge cuddles and kisses and keeps showing it all her favourite toys, probably letting her sister know that their hers and not to touch!

27 Weeks 2 Days: Progress in the nursery, blood tests and a contraction!

I've been pottering around in the nursery this week thanks to only having the two appointments earlier in the week to get to. I finally managed to get the million bags of baby clothes sorted out and packed away in the drawers. Oh and re-contacted the dressing table as well! The supply cupboard is now fully stocked with nappies, wipes and bath supplies, and all of the baby blankets and bunny rugs have been washed and folded and put away. The list is getting smaller and smaller!

Tuesday night I had my very first braxton hicks contraction. It was like a fairly intense period pain but not too unbearable.I knew what it was as soon as it started, even though I'd been saying recently that I wouldn't know a contraction if I fell over it! Haven't had any since though so one practise shot must have been enough for this little one!

After finally getting my blood tests done on Tuesday I got a letter in the mail today saying my vitamin D level is low. I wasn't surprised, I've been really slack taking my supplement lately so was expecting it to be low. But the letter didn't mention any of the other tests (glucose tolerance test, full blood count, ferritin) so I don't know if that means they were all clear or if they only notify you about the vitamin D by mail. I don't see Doctor Hingston until the 29th, so I guess I'll find out then.

26 Weeks 5 Days: Fantastic News

We saw the normal obstetrics clinic at the hospital today to get the scan report from last week, and it couldn't have gone better! Well, I guess it could have, they could have said they'd imagined the cleft, but realistically what we heard was the next best thing.

Basically bub is growing fantastically, there is the perfect amount of amniotic fluid and everything else that they check for is spot on too. So the risks of chromosomal defects at this point are next to none. We will have a beautiful little girl with a cleft, and that will be fixed soon enough.

We also got a call from the nursing unit manager at the Royal Hobart Hospital NICU to organise for us to take a look around when we go down. She confirmed that bub will actually be kept in the NICU after surgery, which is going to be really scary, not because of bub but because of all the other really sick babies who I'll see and will make me sad!

My BP was down again today when they checked so I've been resting today in the hope that it was just from a rough night with Sophie last night. Hopefully that's all anyway, because I'm finally doing my glucose test in the morning and I'm guessing that its going to be hard on my BP with the fasting and the instant hit of glucose.

My bump is starting to get really huge now, which I realised on the weekend when I did a side by side comparison photo:

So no surprises really today when they measured my fundal height and its already at 30 weeks! I can only imagine how gigantic I'll be when I'm fully cooked!

26 Weeks 3 Days: Feeling "off"

I'll be glad to see the OB on Monday. For the last couple of days I've just not felt right. I can't really put my finger on it though, and its not just one thing, its a combination of a whole heap of little things making me feel like crap. If bub wasn't kicking away so hard in there I'd be worried, but if she's happy then I'm alright.

Let's see: I have a backache that wont bugger off, niggly cramps in my tummy that are a cross between a light period pain and a constipation pain, an on-again-off-again headache, I'm so tired I've actually drifted off while I've been watching Sophie twice, and I just overall don't feel well! Maybe I'm coming down with another bug?

26 Weeks 1 Day: Growth Scan and Hospital Dramas

I know I've been very slack keeping the blog updated lately... I've just been so exhausted, I've barely been able to stay awake long enough to get Sophie into bed of a night before I crash! I haven't found the time to do my blood test yet either, but I wouldn't be surprised if my iron is a little bit low.

On Tuesday we had our growth scan. Everything seems to be going along nicely, but the sonogropher didn't speak to us the entire time so I guess we'll just have to wait until we see the OB on Monday for a real report. One thing I can tell is she's a bit on the chubby side - almost all of her measurements are at least a week in front! Such a nice change to Sophie being small though. I'd much rather have a baby with a bit of excess fat to play with if she's going to have feeding problems.

Our plans to transfer her to the Mersey after I'm discharged looks like it will be changing now too. They have closed the paediatric unit there, and wont have paediatricians on call like they have in the past, so even if they would accept her in the maternity unit there is no way that she would be able to get the care that she would really need, or the care that she could get at Burnie. It makes me so mad,and I've been emailing the media and politicians trying to get the government to change their minds, but its not likely to do much good.

That's it for now, things have quietened down a little for the next week or so, maybe I'll be able to catch up on some rest!

25 Weeks 5 Days: Hormones!

Oh my god, I'm a crying mess lately! Sophie's not sleeping very well so that's not helping, but I'm crying at the drop of a hat! The other day I was in the car listening to some lady talk about how her parents met - it was like something out of a fairytale and I burst into tears! I just looked at Drew and laughed because it was so silly to be crying over! And it just keeps going on. I cry if I miss a call from Drew, I cry if there's a sad news story, I'm sitting here now crying because they keep playing tributes to Brockie on the Bathurst coverage!

We have a pretty light week ahead, just a growth scan on Tuesday and I really should make my way over to town and get the blood tests done too. Hopefully things stay that quiet....

24 Weeks 6 Days: Appointments, appointments, appointments

I feel a little bit as though my pregnancy has been stolen from me. I know I wasn't exactly enjoying the whole thing, but now the focus has shifted so much from the experience of pregnancy to being all about what will happen after bub is born. I need to take some time to stop and smell the proverbial roses, but there's no time!

I have been so busy this week already, I don't even know where to start.

First of all, I passed out again on Friday night, while I was sitting on the toilet. I've had some sort of chest infection for a week or so, and I'd had a big coughing fit and felt really sick all of a sudden, so I went to the toilet. Next thing I knew Soph was standing next to me tapping me on the leg and asking if I was ok. It was pretty scary: Drew was at work so it was just me and Soph and I was worried that it might happen again before I got her to bed. I spent the rest of the night feeling really drained, and most of the next day, but thankfully I've stayed upright ever since!

Yesterday we had a follow up with doctor Hingston's clinic. We saw Doctor Kim, who was there last time we saw Doctor Hingston, and she just wanted to check that we'd heard from the people she'd sent referrals to. I asked her about the passing out and she agrees that it's my blood pressure dropping too low, and thinks I need to eat and drink more. Which is true, I keep forgetting to eat and I've barely been drinking at all. So the plan is to set reminders in my phone every four hours, and get on top of it.

She gave us a referral for another ultrasound at Regional Imaging next week, just to check bub's growth, and we will also go back to Women's imaging when we go to Hobart next month for a high quality one. And she's arranged for us to take a tour of the NICU and nursery while we're down there too, so it will be good to get an idea of how the place works before we have to go in with bub for the first time.

Today's appointment was with the local paediatrician. He answered a few questions that we had about when bub is delivered. He thinks that from what they can see on the scans so far she will be given an NG tube straight away rather than trying to get her to take a bottle and risking her weight dropping. He also thinks she'll probably have to stay in the hospital for about three weeks, which is going to be so hard for me to leave her there.

Most of our questions will need to be answered by the surgery team next month, and then again they still won't know everything until bub is born. It's frustrating not being able to have all of the answers right now.

I'm supposed to be having my 24 week blood screen done tomorrow, but frankly I'm too exhausted from the last few days to be bothered, so I think I'll do it next week and just spend the rest of this week at home catching up on the housework and some rest. When I'll still be exhausted lol. We have one week in the next two months where we don't have an appointment of some sort, so its pretty hectic right now.