Tuesday, 30 October 2012

28 weeks 6 days: feeling like a failure

I know that this is more depression and hormones than anything else, but I cant help but feel like i'm getting everything wrong this pregnancy. This poor baby deserves a happy and healthy environment to grow ready to come into the world, and instead i'm throwing one complication after another.

First I feel depressed and anxious for the first vital weeks. Then I get the subchorionic hemorage and risk losing her. Then my blood pressure goes funny. Then I pump her full of codine because of my hip. Then we find out that I didnt even grow her properly! And now the bloody diabetes! I cant get anything right.

What am I doing wrong?! I eat healthy! I dont gorge on sugar! I'm relatively fit, although I admit I havent been able to do much thanks to all the rest thats been needed. I take my vitamins, I cut out caffine, I do everything they ask, so why cant I just catch a break?!

Like I said, obviously i'm still depressed. But I just want to do something right for a change.

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