20 Weeks 5 Days: Confirmation

A part of me really thought that we'd see the specialist today and she'd tell us there was a mistake and everything is fine. But it didn't work out like that. Kind of the opposite really.

She did a scan, and straight away said that yes she can see a cleft in the hard palette, and most likely in the soft palette as well. She thinks the lip is probably affected but couldn't get a look at it. So we are looking at a pretty nasty case but wont know more until next week.

She referred us to a special ultrasound clinic in Hobart that specialises in OB/GYN. We have to go down Tuesday morning. So once we have that scan done we will be able to see what we are dealing with and come up with a plan for when to do the first surgery.

Dr Hingston also said that they will need to look at other markers as well, because there is a chance that it could be an indicator of a genetic condition, but not to panic because there is also a chance that it's just because Drew was born with it.

There is 5-10% chance of if being inherited from a parent or sibling. 5-10%. What is it with me an percentages? There is a 1% chance of a subchorionic hemorrhage, and I've had 3. There is a less than 1% chance of a 2 vessel cord. 1 in four pregnancies end in miscarriage, I've lost 2 from 4. I have some sort of statistical disability I think. But then when you look at the other side: we were told there was a 3% chance of falling pregnancy naturally, and we've done it the last 2 times. Sophie had a 52% chance of being really sick, and she's fine. So maybe I'm not completely unlucky.

I think I should probably be freaking out right now, but I'm actually really calm. It's nothing like Friday when we found out. Now I'm just preparing to find out as much as I can and get ready for this thing that I can't do anything about. We are going to have such a long road ahead of us, with a lot of really painful surgeries for bub and a lot of time off work for Drew and time away from home for all of us, but we will get through it.

I'm hoping to find someone in Drew's family who can tell me more about his surgeries. It's hard not knowing what to expect. And I'll call cleftpals and see what sort of support they can give too. We'll get through it... eventually.